Telco/ISP

Caption comp: Telstra CEO David Thodey

"Hmm, i'll agree with a people's choice award, not sure I agree that every judge's choice was a "politically correct one" though, I think the judge's choices were quite representative actually. ..."

By Mordd

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By Munir Kotadia

Nov 19, 2009 12:30 AM

Win an 8GB Apple iPod Nano.

Telstra CEO David Thodey was under the spotlight at the Gartner ITxpo on Tuesday where he was interviewed on stage by two Gartner analysts.

Thanks to NetSuite, we have an 8GB iPod Nano to give away to the best/most amusing caption for this picture.

Use the talkback below to enter.

The winner will be announced by iTnews.com.au staff on Monday November 23.

Comments: 95

Thoughts on this article? Add a comment below.

mattydee Nov 19, 2009 12:54 AM	"this is how thick Sol was" "My wad of cash is now only this thick, less bolivian rarefish pie for me" :( "i present to you, THE T-VISIBLE, its a new telstra phone thats invisible, but if you lose it you have to pay a $2.20 finders fee"
adelcomp Nov 19, 2009 7:25 AM	So....how's that for a bunny rabbit! See the ears?
DJ Nov 19, 2009 8:14 AM	This is how much confidence our staff now have in Telstra management after we screwed them over, then brought in the yank who screwed us all over, then just for good measure we screwed the staff over one more time. Oh, yeah, and we expect to be "well received" as respected as a major player in the telecommunications industry.
nannarosa Nov 19, 2009 8:16 AM	Missed by THAT much!!!!!
bcmobile Nov 19, 2009 8:17 AM	"Im this close to beating the stuffing out of Stephen Conroy" or "Im this close to sacking all of my so-called customer service staff"
Checkin Nov 19, 2009 8:22 AM	"The NBN pipe is small compared to the size of my pipe"
vu2bx Nov 19, 2009 8:37 AM	Little bit of sky lil bit of earth and all of NBN
nicko Nov 19, 2009 8:44 AM	How much do we REALLY care about our customers? About this much...but thats probably overstating it.
iMikeyMike Nov 19, 2009 8:46 AM	itnews: "What about quality of service?" Telstra CEO David Thodey: "Never mind the quality, feel the length!" itnews: "How long then?" ...
mannaoz Nov 19, 2009 8:48 AM	When we submit another tender it should about this thick ! Well that's what Sol said
nakerjack Nov 19, 2009 8:58 AM	"Compared to other ISP's - our ADSL takeup is only this much!"
zaphod6502 Nov 19, 2009 9:05 AM	"This is how much I care about ADSL customers stuck on congested RIM's."
Dustproof Nov 19, 2009 9:13 AM	Mine is this big........ Oh I thought you were talking about the Apple I have for little lunch!
anonymous Nov 19, 2009 9:15 AM	"Give those bloody customers this much service, and no more!"
ScottyP Nov 19, 2009 9:22 AM	"OK, we'll structurally separate, but only by this much."
viperfast_86 Nov 19, 2009 9:24 AM	"We were this close to running the country stupid government"
allanrr Nov 19, 2009 9:25 AM	"This is what will be left of the NBN pipe when it gets to the Outback"
viperfast_86 Nov 19, 2009 9:26 AM	"Our IT Department is this big"
viperfast_86 Nov 19, 2009 9:29 AM	"This here is australia and over here a giant laser so if we lose control of telecommunication..."
chuckles Nov 19, 2009 9:33 AM	"I sympathise with the Telstra workers, so much so, that when I am on my Christmas fishing trip, I will only catch a fish this big."
leslie Nov 19, 2009 9:33 AM	INVIZIBL VALUE PROPOSITION
ouder Nov 19, 2009 9:35 AM	What! How can you get that wrong! The writing behind me was only suppose to be this big!
viperfast_86 Nov 19, 2009 9:40 AM	"Yeah I had a mullet it was this long"
bmbzl Nov 19, 2009 9:42 AM	"There is a limit to the expansion of IT (services), regardless of convergence..."
fictillius Nov 19, 2009 9:50 AM	"Senator Conroy makes me feel about this big"
TelstraSpinMakesMeDizzy Nov 19, 2009 10:05 AM	"Things have changed since Sol left. My weekly pay packet is only this thick"
Maxxi Nov 19, 2009 10:08 AM	"Well then we discovered something surprising about Sol...." "Sure we will leave some of the market to our competitors...." "NBN chances without Telstra? Oh about so much I guess...."
PAN Nov 19, 2009 10:21 AM	"David Thodey - If this were charades, he'd have your stapler"
QF1 Nov 19, 2009 10:36 AM	So I said to the wife "this is 9 inches"
TruthSphere Nov 19, 2009 10:46 AM	(Sith Death Grip) - "Don't fail me again, Admiral Conroy"
Hamhock Nov 19, 2009 10:51 AM	oh oh...they got me on that question. I know, I'll distract them with my sign language skills and weasel my way out this one.
Abaddon Nov 19, 2009 11:11 AM	Scissors paper rock hey. If I practice doing all three at once I can't lose. MWA HAHAHAHA! We'll never have to seperate, and I'll end their strikes once and for all.
Cloud Nov 19, 2009 11:17 AM	"Say hello to my little friend"
Ace Nov 19, 2009 11:36 AM	My excitement over our new fee structure is measurable!
stevetau Nov 19, 2009 11:45 AM	It's Da Craw....DA CRAW!! Hmm. worked for Jim Carey in Liar Liar...
scan06disk Nov 19, 2009 11:51 AM	"Gimme a Double Shot of Vodka, before you start...."
ITrant Nov 19, 2009 11:52 AM	Telstra customer service policy, we love you long time.
Raztus Nov 19, 2009 11:57 AM	two fingers of whisky should see me through....
hellokarl Nov 19, 2009 12:05 PM	Expelliarmus Conroy-us
hellokarl Nov 19, 2009 12:06 PM	We care about our users (this much)...
hellokarl Nov 19, 2009 12:06 PM	Call someone who cares.
jbree Nov 19, 2009 12:58 PM	I must admit, the NBN does concern us, but only this much.
wendybowe Nov 19, 2009 1:09 PM	I guarantee your telstra bill will be this much thinker now I'm in charge.
coogs@coogs.com Nov 19, 2009 2:08 PM	Our current share price? Sure - this big....
Mr P Nov 19, 2009 2:09 PM	No, seriously, this IS how much we spend on our customer value initiatives.......
jbree Nov 19, 2009 2:16 PM	This is the size of my pay packet compared to Sol's
Speedster Nov 19, 2009 2:21 PM	There's this new storage device called a floppy disk - it's about this big - and can hold a Bigpond Cable customer's entire download quota!
camerond01 Nov 19, 2009 3:40 PM	This is how much of Australia gets actual broadband.
TheBrad Nov 19, 2009 3:42 PM	Its something we like to call The Jew Claw!
camerond01 Nov 19, 2009 3:42 PM	My last Telstra bill was thiiiiiiiis thick.
camerond01 Nov 19, 2009 3:45 PM	How far away from the exchange does ADSL2+ start degrading? This far.
TheBrad Nov 19, 2009 3:53 PM	Our secret is to mix half a cup of mild disappointment with a smattering of lackluster service and package it up as a premium broadband service
viperfast_86 Nov 19, 2009 4:18 PM	Insert Scotch here
marty05 Nov 19, 2009 4:36 PM	REDRUM... REDRUM
scan06disk Nov 19, 2009 4:47 PM	Now everyone copies my joke"caption" of drinking... read up ! lol
Mordd Nov 19, 2009 4:57 PM	This is how much our network is really worth!
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Nov 19, 2009 5:52 PM	This is the INVISIBLE iPhone we're selling at present. It's 'notionally' one of our handset options, but you'll never see it displayed by us, or offered in our ads or stores. We're working on the iTelstra smart phone, also with lots of apps and media - as long as all the apps are clipped by us, and all the media are BigPond properties. We're expecting to beat Jobs' amateurish lot at this game!
matthewlesh Nov 19, 2009 8:34 PM	and Stephen Conroy was THIS big.
FLashy Nov 19, 2009 9:32 PM	This is the big C. The NBN Can't succeed without me.
Sams Nov 19, 2009 9:52 PM	"You might not get many, but each byte is this big."
deonast Nov 19, 2009 10:08 PM	After comparing assets with Stephen Conroy the little guy wanted to break up my company, I don't quite understand. I just told him his infrastructure was lacking compared to ours.
RooBs Nov 20, 2009 12:10 PM	"We're here, but we really want to be here."
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Nov 20, 2009 2:26 PM	"Conroy said he HAD to bend me over to get his NBN up. So we stooped to discussing how far he was going to stick it in."
deonast Nov 20, 2009 2:39 PM	"Such a little thing I don't know why Conroy got so offended. I just said our infrastructure is much bigger than yours and you probably have problems getting it up."
amgillard Nov 20, 2009 3:20 PM	Sometimes it helps me to sleep better at night by imagining how I can better put the squeeze on my customers ...
TanyaHall Nov 20, 2009 4:02 PM	Australian Anti-Speeding Campaign rejected billboard proposal.
viperfast_86 Nov 20, 2009 4:10 PM	"My hair has this much to catch up to Ray Martin's"
meagain Nov 20, 2009 5:03 PM	"C" stands for compa...what?
islandjuice Nov 20, 2009 5:15 PM	"Whatup playa?! "C" to the "E" to the "O"... "
islandjuice Nov 20, 2009 5:26 PM	"...so by installing a microphone in my thumb and a speaker in the forefinger, our technicians have been able to deliver the most intergrated 'handsets' in the market..."
BigUnit Nov 20, 2009 5:38 PM	Take an inch...
BigUnit Nov 20, 2009 5:39 PM	Give an inch...
mattybaus Nov 20, 2009 10:39 PM	the gap between the NBN as proposed by the government and Telstra running it on their own is narrowing every day.
cw Nov 21, 2009 5:55 PM	David Thodey and Mike Quigley comparing epenis size... Thodey: We will upgrade some users, in one city, to a shared 100mbps with their neighbours. Quigley: We will upgrade more users to higher speeds at cheaper prices... Boom Headshot!
mattybaus Nov 21, 2009 6:47 PM	how much less am I being paid then Sol???
mattybaus Nov 21, 2009 6:48 PM	the difference between telstra broadband coverage and nbn coverage
mattybaus Nov 21, 2009 6:50 PM	how close I came to bei9ng the CEO of NBN Co
mattybaus Nov 21, 2009 6:51 PM	how much I love Graeme Samuel
mattybaus Nov 21, 2009 6:52 PM	how much influence the shareholders will have on executive remuneration
BruceEverett Nov 21, 2009 7:56 PM	"Sigh. Okay, here's the Mexican scorpion grip Sol taught me. Now can we get on with something else or am I THAT boring?"
tone76 Nov 21, 2009 8:47 PM	"I'm a very hands-on type of CEO. Just this morning, I laid some cable that was this thick."
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Nov 22, 2009 9:56 PM	"Three weeks ago Conroy phoned me: Conroy: Instead of a meeting in my Ministerial office, would you like to come to a party this Saturday night... But I should point out there could be some fighting. I: That's OK, I can handle myself. Conroy: Also, there could be some sex. I: That's OK, I'm reasonably open-minded... But what should I wear? Conroy: It won't really matter, as it'll just be the two of us. Now, let me explain what actually happened when we met..."
avenger Nov 23, 2009 8:40 AM	"I know transformation has taken a little longer than initially expected, but we've only got this much to go"
Rossyduck Nov 23, 2009 11:57 AM	..and to those mom and pop shareholders worrying about separation I suggest now is a goodtime to try and find some other company still in the legal extortion snd racketerring business.
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Nov 23, 2009 1:59 PM	"Conroy said he HAD to bend me over to get his NBN up. I said can't we first talk about penetration levels, speed, roll-out rate..." [Note to ITnews, please remove my earlier posting which starts the same way, as I've now realised it could be read in a lewd way.]
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Nov 23, 2009 2:13 PM	"Conroy said he HAD to bend me over to get his NBN up. I said can't we first talk about penetration levels, speed, roll-out rate..." [Note to ITnews, please remove my earlier posting which starts the same way, as I've now realised it could be read in a lewd way.]
nakerjack Nov 23, 2009 3:45 PM	"Telstra is a catapillar, and he's my friend. The other day, I saw Telstra and he was THISSSSSSSSSSSS big, and I said "TELSTRA!! What happened?!" He said, "I burped".
zag Nov 23, 2009 5:27 PM	"Well... think of Telstra as a nut. for example my right fist is the Telstra nut, ok... and my left hand is like a nut cracker, ok... so when talking about the NBNco or Government its like they want to crack the Telstra nut but what happens when you crack a nut? It breaks apart doesn't it. Now if you have a broken nut how could the NBNco ever expect to have a working network?"
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Nov 25, 2009 4:13 PM	"This is how you hold an iPhone. Unfortunately, because Apple would not give us exclusive distribution rights, we have a corporate-wide ban on displaying the actual devices, but you get what I mean..."
BigUnit Nov 27, 2009 4:21 PM	C is for cookie
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Nov 30, 2009 5:51 PM	"While Conroy explained how the NBN wouldn't threaten existing networks, I just sat there making a fist with my right hand and making a crude receptacle with my left hand... and just kept punching the one into the other. I'm not aware of any monopoly that has gone down without a fight!"
Mordd Nov 30, 2009 9:16 PM	Sorry to disappoint for those of you who can't read, but the comp closed on the 23rd (a week ago) and they already announced the winners.....
Graeme Harrison (prof at-symbol post.harvard.edu) Dec 1, 2009 11:31 AM	Mordd, when someone has a funny thought, sometimes they just feel compelled to share it. I'm sure a lot of these posts would have been submitted anyway, even if there was no prize. Predictably, every judge's choice was a politically correct one (though also funny)... see: www.itnews.com.au/News/161197,announcing-the-winner-of-our-caption-comp.aspx So we also need a 'People's Choice Award' to overcome such conservative bias. No need to put up another MP3 player, as their sales are in full decline ;-(
mkotadia Dec 1, 2009 1:09 PM	@Graeme Harrison: I like your idea of a People's Choice Award. Which caption would you have chosen? I'll try and come up with a way of including the readers in the voting process. any suggestions would be much appreciated. Mun
Mordd Dec 1, 2009 7:43 PM	Hmm, i'll agree with a people's choice award, not sure I agree that every judge's choice was a "politically correct one" though, I think the judge's choices were quite representative actually. However the only way to know for sure is allow the community to pick a winner as well, so fair call i'll support you on that as long as ITNews throws in a people's choice prize as well yeh haha? (you do just want a prize after all! you're not just compelled to share!) :P