Memo: Google threatens to pull out of Australia

 

Threatens to close Pyrmont office in response to Conroy's filter.

NB - This story was an April Fools' joke.

Internet search giant Google is planning to close down its Australian office in response to the Federal Government's plans to filter the internet, according to an internal memo sighted by iTnews.

According to the leaked memo, Google CEO Eric Schmidt [pictured] canvassed the option in discussions with the US State Department on how to take an appropriate international stance on censorship earlier this month.

"We can't be compromised by the Australian situation," the memo reads. "We pulled out on the Chinese over their filter - it won't go unnoticed if we remain in Australia."

Tensions between the Federal Government and Google escalated on Monday evening, when Communications Minister Stephen Conroy told ABC Radio that the search giant should consider its own privacy policies before criticising those of elected governments.

Conroy said Google's motivations could be summed up in one alleged Schmidt quote: "We love cash!"

The memo canvasses the option of Google moving its handful of local switches and cache kit to New Zealand, mirroring the approach taken in China, where racks were re-located to Hong Kong.

A spokesman for Senator Conroy said his department had not received any communications from Google outside of its official submission to public consultations around the filtering plan and has not received any threats from Google to quit Australia.

"Maybe DFAT has been briefed, I don't know," the spokesman for Senator Conroy said. "Ask them?"

Colin Jacobs, vice-chair of Electronic Frontiers Australia said Google had made the "wrong move."

"After being assured by the Minister that the filter is benign and for our own good, EFA recently reversed its opposition to the plan," he said.

"Google's decision not to play by Australian law leaves Australians at continued risk of being bombarded by unspeakable obscenity every time they open their web browser, with nobody to help shield them. We can't help but wonder if this means Google is somehow pro-bestiality."

Representatives from Google were too busy enjoying April Fools Day!!! to make comment.

iTnews wishes all its readers a Happy April Fools Day.


Memo: Google threatens to pull out of Australia
"Note to Sen. Conroy: How do you know if you're doing a f'ing terrible job as the communications minister? If EVERYONE in the IT industry is using you in their April Fools Pranks."
By Cham
 
 
 
Comments: 21
mkotadia
Apr 1, 2010 8:01 AM
Ok i admit it, you got me!

Nice story Brett.
Digger11
Apr 1, 2010 8:57 AM
I think Google should leave. Just one more search engine adds no more value to my life.
It's not as if there aren't any alternatives.
ethought
Apr 1, 2010 9:08 AM
lol - you got me.

Nice bit of humour to an otherwise very embarassing, depressing and insane situation!
Rhino
Apr 1, 2010 9:12 AM
Nice one Brett.

Although it is rather pointed given Googles current stance against China and the great Aussie firewall.

I won't be surprised if this actually comes true.
snowbrowser
Apr 1, 2010 9:20 AM
I'd love Google to pull out. Not because I don't like Google , however I reckon the Aussies could create a great alternative and the Yanks need some more decent competition in cyberspace.
smusic
Apr 1, 2010 9:25 AM
thats ok - Hong Kong is legally part of China and New Zealand is legally part of Australia - at least they are being consistent!!! LOL!!!
Mordd
Apr 1, 2010 9:41 AM
Ok you ass brett, you really had me going there, very well done, problem is this is too much a likely scenario, I think Google should pull out of australia too.
jab_au
Apr 1, 2010 9:42 AM
You never know it could happen, that's why its so believable.
petedaws
Apr 1, 2010 9:47 AM
I think this is a bit too raw of a topic to be an April fools joke >:(
BrettWinterford
Apr 1, 2010 10:03 AM
Thanks guys.

And re: those that say its too likely a scenario to be an April Fools joke, isn't that the point?

If I wrote that "Conroy falls on sword over failed filter" or "Tony Smith releases policy" you simply wouldn't read past the first line or two!
GeordieGuy
Apr 1, 2010 10:05 AM
I can't believe I got got. I'd even checked several news sites that are famous for their April Fools stories, including Whirlpool, this morning before I left for work.

Then I read this with my phone in my hand, Colin Jacobs' number on screen and my thumb hovering above "Dial", reciting "WTF ARE YOU THINKING" in my head for when he answers.

Nice one guys.
gsting
Apr 1, 2010 10:31 AM
Great! Please leave Australia, Google!
I love you, and I use you everyday - but there are always other service providers I can rely on after you leave!
Good bye!
Ace
Apr 1, 2010 11:01 AM
The great thing is, about a month from now you'll be able to remove the last paragraph and re-post it as an actual news item!
Thysce
Apr 1, 2010 11:06 AM
"I think Google should leave. Just one more search engine adds no more value to my life.
It's not as if there aren't any alternatives."

Digger11, I think you should leave.
BrettWinterford
Apr 1, 2010 11:08 AM
Thanks to EFA and Google for being good sports. I should also credit that Colin's quote is his own.
Bob
Apr 1, 2010 12:00 PM
I'm with Ace on this one. Very small market, difficult geographic environment, rules changes at the whim of the cuckoo in charge. Picking up and moving is not a bad idea for the suggestion box of any telco.
Bob
Apr 1, 2010 12:00 PM
I'm with Ace on this one. Very small market, difficult geographic environment, rules changes at the whim of the cuckoo in charge. Picking up and moving is not a bad idea for the suggestion box of any telco.
anonymous
Apr 1, 2010 12:14 PM

Apparently the latest news is that Conroy is going to withdraw his filter plan because he doesn't want to impede democratic free speech, and sees now that it was wrong to impose the filter just to scam a few votes from the well meaning but ignorant fundamentalists.
hellfire
Apr 1, 2010 12:25 PM
Good on you Google. The sooner Conroy gets the message that this is a free country and the citizen should be his own censor the better. Alternatively he and his KRUDD PM and co will get voted out at the next election. We are not a Communist STate or are we??
Tom
Apr 1, 2010 12:50 PM
Seems the Conroy filter will also ensure that we wont be able to drive the Superhighway while drunk, discuss sexual issues nor do anything that we really shouldn't. However it seems the US were ahead of us here though, Lirpa Sloof has created a bill numbered 040194 in Congress. Whats really funny is that Senator Conroy may indeed hope that his filter can stop this type of discussion on the Internet.
Cham
Apr 1, 2010 7:34 PM
Note to Sen. Conroy: How do you know if you're doing a f'ing terrible job as the communications minister? If EVERYONE in the IT industry is using you in their April Fools Pranks.
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